Shoes that mean you SHALL go to the ball…

My mother always used to dismiss my complaints about going to school dances in my brown school shoes. “No one”, she would say, “EVER notices your shoes at a party”. Despite (because of? Where is Dr Freud when you need him?) these wise words, I always dress paws up. So what if no one else looks at my shoes? I bloody see them.

Party shoes are particularly tricky. These are what I think they need –  a heel (because no one ever felt glamorous in velvet plimsolls); a chunky heel (because toppling over after over tippling has happened to me once too often); and plenty of frivolity (because, well, it’s a PARTY!).

With that in mind here are my candidates for this year’s party season:

1. Glittery Courts, & Other Stories, £89

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These are pretty much perfect. Far from subtle; comfortable as bedroom slippers; good with dresses and trousers… The only slight pity is that their colour, purple, may put some people off. After all, it won’t really go with anything other than black, navy, pink, neutrals, bottle green, silver, gold…. oh wait!

2. Sam Edelman mules from Anthropologie, £160

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The sheer weirdness of these caught my eye. They may look like an accident in an aviary, but I think they’d look great with wide satin trousers and a plain shimmery top, particularly if you’re entertaining at home and want to look more relaxed than you feel.

3. Glitter heel sandals, & Other Stories, £79

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I’m not the biggest fan of sandals for Winter parties because of the additional grooming needed. A pedicure is such a boring process, I like to allow my tootsies to revert to hooves over the cold season. But these, with glittery sock,s would not only cover my cloven feet, they would also be achingly cool.

4. Zara Sequin Boots, £49.99

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For this price, I’m happy to overcome my resistance to sharp little heels. There’s certainly nothing kittenish about these beauties. Pair them with evening trousers or your foxiest dress. If people don’t remark on them, call me: I’ll have words.

5. Embellished ankle straps, Top Shop, £39

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Another versatile pair of attention seekers which won’t break the bank. These are Fancy Dan enough to mean you could pair them with jeans and a festive top and still look like you’ve made an effort. Dressed up with a midi length skirt they’d look very glam.

6. Red velvet ‘Dixi” boots, Plumo, £209

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The most Christmassy boots ever. Fact. As worn by Santa’s elves. On Christmas Eve. At midnight. With a mince pie. Wear them or just stroke them.

7. Razzle sandals, Top Shop, £29

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Razzle and their sequinned sister, Reaction sandals are as sparkly as Prosecco. They are currently reduced and are selling fast. Perhaps even to you.

8. Cracked silver leather mules, Anthropologie, £118

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I like these block heeled slip ons because I can see them working in Summer too. And I have a thing about cracked leather. And they’re silver. Anthropologie shoes can be a bit hit and miss, but they are usually at least interesting.

9. Black feathery mules, Charlotte Stone at Urban Outfitters, £80

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Compared with their gaudy sequinned cousins, these feathered beauties seem rather subdued. No matter. It simply means you can wear them with anything. As long as it isn’t out in the rain.

10. Lamé block heel shoes, Alex Chung, £340

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As cool and effortless as the woman herself, these Alexa Chung heels put the ‘under’ in statement. They are a shimmery lamé, rather than an obvious sparkle. They are pricy, true, but if you need something classy and special (or you’re looking for something a bit different to wear with a wedding dress) these would be a godsend. For those of us with nothing more glamorous to attend than the neighbour’s drinks, don’t worry. They’re selling out so fast, they’ll soon be out of temptation.

If you are still in an extravagant mood, consider the Alexa Chung metallic red sling backs (£295) below –  retro enough to suit anyone glued to Series 2 of The Crown.

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Next week, my favourite new beauty products.

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